vulpvibe: i downloaded a mod in skyrim that changes all the spiders to bears so the bears will liTERALLY DESCEND FROM THE CEILING OF CAVES THRE BEARS AR E IN
Me: I won't get jealous
Me: Who's this fucking whore
moderngardening: If someday we all go to prison for downloading music, I hope they segregate us by genre.
cptskeletor: hervacationh0me: I remember one time this girl told me she named her pussy. When I asked her what she named it, she smiled at me and said “the circumciser”. I looked at her like
Girls logic: Yes I'm upset but I don't want to tell you what's wrong so I'll just sit here getting mad at you because you're supposed to guess what's wrong.
theyellovvbrickroad: buttcamp: remember those 6th grade sleepovers where everyone would have to tell their crush and if you didnt they would beat you to death with uggs what the fuck kind of sleepovers did u have
koholint: has science invented a way to lay on your side while wearing headphones yet
me: I'm so full omg I'm not gonna eat for days
me: are those brownies
jewassicpark: sext: i grab your boobs. i rip them off and put them on the grill. dinner is served.
nosdrinker: don’t treat your girl like shit treat her like your nikes and jordans order her online and step on her all day
kermitthefrrog: every time i misspell the as teh it takes me back to those days
pizzaforpresident: barackfuckingobama: robert downey jr’s name is actually robert like his friends call him robert not robert downey jr thats weird sometimes i realize that his last name isn’t junior it’s downey and i’m like woah oh god his drivers license probably says downey, robert
zukuku: theres this girl in my class whos been carrying this 6x6 rubiks cube since the first day of school and today she finally finished it so we all started applauding n she was so overwhelmed she ended up crying
imjustonekid: hey baby, if it’s not too much treble, i’d really like to ‘B’ with you … naturally.